Do you listen to respond, or do you listen to understand? Listening is not something many people think too much about. Not only does your listening style improve the value you get out of interactions with others, but it will also influence the way people engage with you.
Active listening refers to the practice of giving the speaker your full attention and genuinely listening to them when they’re speaking to you, including non-verbal cues.
Here are a few examples of non-verbal cues and what they mean:
Facial Expressions
- Nodding → Agreement, encouragement to continue speaking
- Smiling → Warmth, reassurance, or appreciation
- Raised eyebrows → Surprise or interest
- Furrowed brows → Confusion or concern
Eye Contact
- Steady eye contact → Engagement and attentiveness
- Avoiding eye contact → Discomfort, distraction, or disinterest
- Frequent blinking or looking away → Possible nervousness or processing information
Body Language
- Leaning in → Interest and attentiveness
- Turning towards the speaker → Active engagement
- Crossed arms → Defensive or closed-off attitude
- Mirroring body language → Building rapport and connection
Gestures
- Head tilting → Curiosity or consideration
- Hand movements (open palms, gesturing while speaking) → Encouraging further discussion
- Fidgeting → Discomfort, boredom, or impatience
Active listening offers many benefits in personal and professional relationships.
These include:
- Meaningful communication
- Strengthening relationships
- People wanting to talk to you
- People leaving conversations with you feeling understood and heard
- Learning more about those you communicate with
- Coming to a mutual understanding
- Defusing conflict situations
Active listening is essential for business owners or managers. Anyone who deals with people, team members or customers, may get additional insights from active listening.
This practice involves five simple steps.
- Pay attention – stop what you were doing and really give the speaker your full focus, don’t get distracted and try to hear what they’re saying with an open mind and positive attitude.
- Show that you are listening – in the same way as you’re paying attention to their nonverbal cues, they will subconsciously pay attention to yours. Ensure that your body language is open, attentive and welcoming. Try a slight head tilt to make people feel welcome and engaged, lean forward to show you’re listening and do not cross your arms over your body.
- Provide feedback – don’t let your personal views get in the way of real communication. Ask questions to get the speaker to elaborate or clarify certain parts of what they’ve said. Doing so will ensure you have not misunderstood their message.
- Defer judgment – don’t interrupt them as they speak. Sharing counterarguments in the middle of their sentence is not going to make people feel heard. Let them finish what they’re saying before offering alternative perspectives.
- Respond Appropriately – really listen to what the speaker is saying and respond in an appropriate manner. The speaker may stop trying to communicate with you if you brush them off or don’t respond in a way that is appropriate for the situation.
Implementing the practice of active listening in all your communications will greatly benefit you in a personal and professional capacity. Understanding those around you and showing that you hear them will make them warm to you and pave the way for much deeper and more meaningful interactions with others.
